Wow! It sure has
been a while huh? Sorry about the hiatus everyone but things have
been more than a little hectic lately. As a result I haven't been
able to dedicate as much as I’d like to being angry about things.
But fear not dear readers! Life is settling down and it has given me
more time to ruminate on annoyances both petty and grand. I'm back
and boy does it feel good.
So buses, yes
buses, that most stalwart example of mass transportation the world
over, used by millions day in and day out for journeys both large and
small. Some may be commuters, others shoppers, some might be
sightseeing if its a particular kind of bus, although you'll have to
forgive me for not quite understanding the appeal of sitting on an
open topped bus in the middle of a busy city choking with exhaust
fumes on freezing cold and wet days just so someone can give you a
brief description of the tower of London through a horrendously
distorted microphone... but maybe that's just me.
So what's my
problem with buses? Well, to be honest its not so much the vehicles
themselves that bother me, its more those that operate and use them
that do. As many of you may have surmised via my pen-name, or are
simply aware of through knowing me in real life, I am a wheelchair
user. A relatively capable one at that, I’m lucky in that sense.
Thus I encounter some issues when I’m using a bus. I'm sure these
are not uncommon and are frequently suffered by my similarly
disadvantaged peers but I’m going to grumble about them anyway
because hey, you didn't come here for paragraphs about sunshine and
bunnies did you? (If you did try Tumblr and stop wasting everyone's
time.)
So problem 1: Bus
drivers. Now to be fair most of these individuals are hard working
and helpful almost to a fault, however others are less inclined to be
of any assistance whatsoever. This can be most frustrating and at
times has been humiliating. For example, on more than one occasion a
bus driver has clearly seen me waiting for his bus, yet has obviously
made NO effort to bring the vehicle as close to the kerb as to be
comfortable for me to get on. (Admittedly sometimes due to terrible
parking habits of other people this is not always possible, under
these circumstances I do not begrudge this happening). As a result
the bus driver then has to get out of his little cabin, drop the ramp
and thus delay everyone else's entry onto the bus significantly.
Maybe you've witnessed this occur, maybe you don't mind. If that's
the case then thanks, glad you're so considerate, but at the same
time, it draws needless attention to the process and can often make
me feel uncomfortable. In fact one bus driver was so incensed that I
had the gall to want to get on board at what was clearly an
inconvenient time for him, he actually sighed and rolled his eyes in
annoyance when the doors opened and he saw me sitting there. I kid
you not. 'Well shit!' I thought, sorry that you've had to get off
your fat arse for five measly seconds pal I know its hard to get up
after sitting down for an entire day, no really I do, funny that.
Tell you what I’ll try not to be such a bother to you in future.
While I’m on
this point, dear council planners, when deciding where to put a bus
stop can you at least ensure that the pavement is at a decent height
relative to the road so that when I disembark neither of the
following occurs: a) the ramp is so steep I practically have to
wheelie down it to stop from falling out of the front of my chair or
b) in the event that I just hop out (thus saving everyone valuable
time) the impact of my landing isn't enough for me to cause spinal
damage. In fact, if kerbs were high enough, a lot of manual
wheelchair users wouldn't have need for the ramps at all! Hooray,
another social issue solved.
Additionally –
and this applies to all bus drivers nationwide. If the wheelchair
space is occupied by another legitimate party, i.e. a mother with a
pram whose occupant is less than 36 months old (any older than 3 and
forget it) or another wheelchair user. Please for the love of god let
me know before I get on the bus? Cheers, you have no idea how
awkward it is to be confronted by a mother with a massive Mclaren
monstrosity and having to ask her to 'shift a bit', especially if
she's got another one on the way (invariably they do.) Because at
that point I’ve then got to deal with a ton of other stuff, the
narrow gangway for example, you ever seen a buggy's turning circle?
Added to that there's invariably going to be a queue of people behind
me, so that that point I have to gingerly reverse, everyone else is
wondering what the hell is going on and the poor woman with the pram
is wondering where the hell she's going to park now. So I smile a wan
smile back up, trying to avoid myriad shopping bags and splayed legs
on the way, meanwhile people behind are still trying to cram onto the
bus. Add a wet floor to the equation and you've got yourself a recipe
for fun! If you fail to warn me, then Mr Bus Driver please afford me
this small favour at least, check over your damn shoulder and make
sure that all wheeled parties are secure BEFORE you move the bus?
That'd really make my day.Which, as it happens, brings me
quite neatly to my next point.
Problem 2: OTHER STUFF IN THE
WHEELCHAIR SPACE. Hey guys, you see that big sign with the picture
of the man in a wheelchair and the words beside it that says SPACE
FOR A WHEELCHAIR USER? Guess what that means. ITS FOR A WHEELCHAIR
USER. Not your shopping, not your suitcase, not your rucksack and god
knows what else. Also, if you find yourself standing with a bundle of
stuff in my way please extend the courtesy of moving? Luggage racks
exist for a reason (that's that big flat empty space next to the door
on the right by the way) and failing that, there's a surprising
amount of legroom on buses these days, you'd be amazed at what you
can cram around your feet. If you're still unsure, i.e. you have such
a vast amount of shopping bags and/or luggage with you then do us all
a favour and call a cab for crying out loud. They're wonderful
really, they'll take you straight to your door and everything. Some
taxi drivers will even help you transport your goods from the car to
your house! They even have these magical things called a 'boot'
(that's the proper word for a 'trunk' for my friends in the
Americas.) These magical things are separate purposely designed
storage compartments created for the sole purpose of transporting
large objects for the comfort of the passengers! Amazing I know, hard
to believe such a thing exists! What a wonderful modern age we live
in eh? Not that you'd know it if you saw some people's reaction to my
very presence on public transportation, just the other day I’d had
to squeeze my way sideways into a wheelchair space because of another
lady with a vast amount of shopping (although she was very apologetic
about it so I let it slide) and there I was, gripping one of the bars
to stop my chair from tipping every time the stupid bus braked, when
we came to a stop, and a severe looking middle aged woman climbed
aboard. She ordered her ticket and stepped into the main carriage,
looking expectantly towards the vast gulf of space to which she was
clearly accustomed to seeing, only to be confronted by... me. She
didn't even bother to hide her surprise and irritation, it took
everything I had not to laugh out loud at the reaction! Cripples? On
MY bus? It's more likely than you think... (10 internets to anyone
that gets that joke)
Yeah sorry love,
we come out in public now – institutionalisation ended about 20 odd
years ago, whoops looks like you'll have to hold onto those bags for
the time being!
Finally to all
passengers of all ages, if a wheelchair user indicates for you to
leave the bus before him or her, please thank them and go.
Immediately. We're letting you go for a reason, usually because it'll
be easier for us to get off the bus without a crowd of people behind
our backs. Not, funnily enough, to do the following:
'On you go mate,
I’ll wait'
'What really?',
'No not really I
was just messing with you! Screw you you able bodied prat! Hahahaaha!
Now stand there feeling confused and hurt at my false offer of
politeness while I leave before you!'
Thanks for reading
Wheelchairman2
